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  • We went to the radio station called Urban FM the other night. This guy walked into the room looking pretty high. Christian said "I think I've seen you before, but didn't you have longer hair?", to which he replied "no, that was my mum", turned around and left the room. Around this time we met Dardan, one of the originators of the station. He's frankly a little hyper and he talks like Ali G, but he's Albanian. After 20 minutes of this we needed to go out...massive respect to Ali A.

    We went to Lounge 16 where I got locked in the toilet. This was not part of the plan, especially seeing as I'd just left a girl who was Welsh and in between jobs on the sofa. My first indication of something amiss was when I noticed the bottle of urine in the sink. I paused to consider why the bottle was full of urine and why it had been left in the sink. Having drawn no conclusions I decided to leave and return to the conversation with the welsh girl. At that point I casually stumbled across the lack of handle. I got out 5 minutes later and returned to the Welsh girl to explain that I'd just broken out of the toilet. She left. Massive respect her.

    It's not everyday you sit quietly in a bar only to have a guy come up to you and explain that the girl in the corner is a 29 year old virgin. The girl was sat with her five friends. They were the best looking girls in the whole world and I was the luckiest guy because I happened to be sat there as one of them struck up a conversation with me. She was a graphic designer. Life could not be more perfect, a subject that I can talk about. I met here friends and they all had good jobs. This was the moment that I decided to stay in Kosovo. I have after all waited 35 years for a moment like this. She was just explaining to me that her Mum was the editor of the magazine when Christian walked over, pointed at the virgin and said "what, that's your mum?". They all left.

    I just Fedex'ed Christian to Iraq.

    I herd a story about a girl that went home drunk. Friend of her's phoned her up the next day to ask if she was ok. She said "not really, I puked up on my Grandmother last night".

    I got offered a job the other night. Not every night that a CTO comes up to you at 2am and says "Work for us, come in on Tuesday and we'll sort out the paperwork". "right", I said. He then told me that he's doing a web site for Miss Kosovo. "yer" I said.

    I've been seeing Christian in a different light lately. The other night he was stood on a stool in the middle of the bar throwing glasses on the floor and shouting "come on you Albanians" and "are you tired" which is a weird Albanian greeting. I was trying to ignore him, but it was difficult with all that flying glass around the place.

    Bumped into the CTO again the other night. He was talking to Miss Kosovo - doh.

    Massive respect.

    They were.

    Me, Bujar, Christian and Petrit.

    Say boo.


    Bet you can't do this.

    Go home and die.