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  • Judge Dredd, Tony Montana and Frank the rabbit - a night in Kosovo.

    What a week. I went to see the Basketball. Pristina were playing and it was a great game. The fans are pretty mad and we sang and waved arms and generally enjoyed ourselves. When I got in a huge police man stopped me and searched me. He took a pencil out of my pocket and dropped it on the floor. Funny joke I thought. For some reason the word "wanker" also jumped into my mind. I bent down to pick it up and he stopped me and said "no". I said "why can't I have my pencil?". He said "offensive weapon".

    So here I am standing in front of this 7 foot high policeman wearing a helmet, full Kevlar armour plating and riot gear. You are holding a shot gun, you have a semi automatic in your belt, a truncheon and a little torch and doing a pretty good impression of Judge Dredd and he is telling me that I'm carrying an offensive weapon.

    Just goes to show that the pen is still mightier than the sword.

    Saturday night was most definitely one of those nights out in Pristina...

    We (me, Johan, Erzen and Blerim) left a bar called Lounge 16 and Johan said "I like girls that wear ties and black tops". To be honest, this was the first time that I have ever experienced total silence in Pristina. Even the Jackdaws stopped and stared at him. Anyway moving along swiftly, we went to Akbar.

    Johan, Blerim, Erzen and I started a conversation about Johan talking to a girl at the bar. We spoke to a friend (she, who shall not be named:) and I asked her "what chat up line should Johan use on that girl?". She replied to me "he is a swede - you want to fuck like a rabbit". I laughed. Frankly (pun later) i would have been happy to go home then, but the night got stranger.

    Johan discovered a true art in teaching the bunny dance to Kosovars. This went down very well. Johan is still alive and well which surprises me.

    It was after his brush with death that I asked if anybody has seen a film called Donny Darko. To my surprise, everyone looked at Johan and said "FRANK" - hello frank. It was around this time that Tony Montana walked in, but that is another story.

    Anyway, 10 minutes passed and Frank disappears. We go and find him and...and...yes of course he's sitting on the sofa with a girl talking about the bunny dance and wearing her tie.